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Tag:Beat It
Posted on: May 28, 2008 7:19 pm
 

Blog Cabin: Michael Jackson and the fecal fiasco

In the news...

What the heck is going on in the world of mixed martial arts?

Over the last few days, this sport has endured two events that have left me utterly perplexed.

Story 1: Michael Jackson attends UFC 84
Baseball has Billy Crystal and Bill Murray. Jessica Simpson and Matt Damon have been seen in the stands for NFL contests. Basketball keeps us entertained with Eva Longoria and Jack Nicholson. Even hockey can pull the likes of Kid Rock.

Now, MMA has Wacko Jacko.

True to form, the Skeletor-looking pop star showed up in a wheelchair and a burka-like ensemble that left only his eyes exposed... those, of course, he covered with a pair of super dark sunglasses.

Truly bizarre. Truly confusing. I mean, MMA of all things? Is it possible that Michael Jackson is starting to take interest in normal activities?

Maybe Jackson has been forced to start growing up since leaving the Neverland Ranch. It has been a couple years since a childish M.J. left the mansion behind, so if we play by Peter Pan rules, he might finally be reaching the maturity level of a teenager. Now, if the teenager he becomes is still a boy, it might easily become interested in the violence and showmanship that MMA provides.

Aww... Little Mikey has outgrown his pet monkey and ferris wheel. Who’s our big skull-faced man?

Story 2: MMA fighter poops his pants in the ring
Fred Mitchell literally “beat the crap” out of Corey Wethey during a small-time fight in Louisiana on Monday. According to thetowntalk.com, Mitchell struck his opponent so hard with a knee to the body that Wethey immediately lost control of his bowels.

Mitchell said that he began to smell something foul after delivering the blow, and that the smell continued to worsen as the match went on. At one point, Mitchell removed his mouth piece to alert the ring official. “He s--- himself,” Mitchell said repeatedly to the stunned referee.

You can’t write this stuff... and still, the worst is yet to come.

While Mitchell was pleading with the official, Wethey regained the advantage, and locked Mitchell's head between his thighs.
Wow. I knew these MMA guys were tough... but that seems a little extreme. How about a couple new rules? If you crap your trunks, you have to tap out. If you’re wrestling with a guy who does his business, you are allowed to run away, screaming like a little girl, and jump over the fence.

The incident required a 10-minute intermission while officials scrubbed down the ring. Mitchell went on to win the fight by Wethey's disqualification.


From the Blogosphere...

The Bong Show has set himself up as the Community's new disciplinarian and giver of knowledge. Anytime you encounter a troublesome member, just send them Bong's way. His blog is full of handy links and pictures that are sure to reform even the most hardened troll.

Has Kobe reformed his image? Jesse James says that the MVP has done a lot to help the cause this season. Read about his revelation.

Resident ranker dantheman4250 gives us his "very early" NFL power rankings. Could the Dolphins be at No. 6? No.
 
 
 
 
The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com