Posted on: May 28, 2008 7:19 pm

Blog Cabin: Michael Jackson and the fecal fiasco

In the news...

What the heck is going on in the world of mixed martial arts?

Over the last few days, this sport has endured two events that have left me utterly perplexed.

Story 1: Michael Jackson attends UFC 84
Baseball has Billy Crystal and Bill Murray. Jessica Simpson and Matt Damon have been seen in the stands for NFL contests. Basketball keeps us entertained with Eva Longoria and Jack Nicholson. Even hockey can pull the likes of Kid Rock.

Now, MMA has Wacko Jacko.

True to form, the Skeletor-looking pop star showed up in a wheelchair and a burka-like ensemble that left only his eyes exposed... those, of course, he covered with a pair of super dark sunglasses.

Truly bizarre. Truly confusing. I mean, MMA of all things? Is it possible that Michael Jackson is starting to take interest in normal activities?

Maybe Jackson has been forced to start growing up since leaving the Neverland Ranch. It has been a couple years since a childish M.J. left the mansion behind, so if we play by Peter Pan rules, he might finally be reaching the maturity level of a teenager. Now, if the teenager he becomes is still a boy, it might easily become interested in the violence and showmanship that MMA provides.

Aww... Little Mikey has outgrown his pet monkey and ferris wheel. Who’s our big skull-faced man?

Story 2: MMA fighter poops his pants in the ring
Fred Mitchell literally “beat the crap” out of Corey Wethey during a small-time fight in Louisiana on Monday. According to thetowntalk.com, Mitchell struck his opponent so hard with a knee to the body that Wethey immediately lost control of his bowels.

Mitchell said that he began to smell something foul after delivering the blow, and that the smell continued to worsen as the match went on. At one point, Mitchell removed his mouth piece to alert the ring official. “He s--- himself,” Mitchell said repeatedly to the stunned referee.

You can’t write this stuff... and still, the worst is yet to come.

While Mitchell was pleading with the official, Wethey regained the advantage, and locked Mitchell's head between his thighs.
Wow. I knew these MMA guys were tough... but that seems a little extreme. How about a couple new rules? If you crap your trunks, you have to tap out. If you’re wrestling with a guy who does his business, you are allowed to run away, screaming like a little girl, and jump over the fence.

The incident required a 10-minute intermission while officials scrubbed down the ring. Mitchell went on to win the fight by Wethey's disqualification.

From the Blogosphere...

The Bong Show has set himself up as the Community's new disciplinarian and giver of knowledge. Anytime you encounter a troublesome member, just send them Bong's way. His blog is full of handy links and pictures that are sure to reform even the most hardened troll.

Has Kobe reformed his image? Jesse James says that the MVP has done a lot to help the cause this season. Read about his revelation.

Resident ranker dantheman4250 gives us his "very early" NFL power rankings. Could the Dolphins be at No. 6? No.
Posted on: May 1, 2008 7:09 pm
Edited on: May 1, 2008 7:18 pm

Blog Cabin: Clemens at Neverland with Miley Cyrus

In the news...

OK, so maybe Roger Clemens hasn’t yet been linked to Jacko or Achy Breaky’s daughter, but seriously, who would be surprised at this point.

If the recent reports that Clemens started a romantic relationship with an underage Mindy McReady weren’t enough, more allegations of infidelity are now gaining steam.

Apparently, Clemens may have also had a relationship John Daly’s ex-wife, and was accused of trying to put the moves on the wife of former wrestler Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake. (Looks like the Rocket may have made a pass at Jose Canseco’s wife after all.)

Wow. Can someone tell me how this cluster of freaks doesn’t have a reality show already? I mean, shouldn’t they at least have made an appearance on Springer?

“Can you imagine what would happen if we stuck Roger, Jose, four women, Brian McNamee, a few congressmen and 100 bottles of steroids in one house... and then forced them to stop being polite and start getting real?”

I know what would happen... I would take a bat to my television set.

The biggest problem here is that there is only one person that can stop the circus... Roger Clemens.

Enough already, Roger. This is getting painful to watch, and there’s nothing you can do to save your image. You’ve probably got more skeletons in that closet, too. They will be found, Roger.

All you have to do is stop being stubborn and drop the legal action. You’re a cheating dirt bag... and we all know it. You will never go to the Hall of Fame, and will probably end up coaching a minor league team after your wife leaves you.

Please Rocket, think of my TV, and don’t forget about that guest house you had at the Neverland Ranch.

From the Blogosphere...

OK, so everyone is tired of LeBron's faking and complaining, right? That's what BennySmack02 says, and he has more than enough proof to back it up.

As always, our unofficial, official Marlins blogger, PAOLO, brings us his thoughts on the Florida's most recent action. It you didn't see the game, this member has everything you need... Oh yeah, and don't forget to drop Kevin Gregg from your fantasy team. What a bum.

Are the Yankees in trouble? Can New York fans and ownership deal with a rebuilding phase? These are the questions that mf10018 poses in Fisher's Baseball Blog.

TigerMAN breaks down the MLB Cy Young races after one month of action. So far, this user puts Brandon Webb at the top of the NL, while Cliff Lee sits atop the AL heap.
The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com