Posted on: May 28, 2008 7:19 pm

Blog Cabin: Michael Jackson and the fecal fiasco

In the news...

What the heck is going on in the world of mixed martial arts?

Over the last few days, this sport has endured two events that have left me utterly perplexed.

Story 1: Michael Jackson attends UFC 84
Baseball has Billy Crystal and Bill Murray. Jessica Simpson and Matt Damon have been seen in the stands for NFL contests. Basketball keeps us entertained with Eva Longoria and Jack Nicholson. Even hockey can pull the likes of Kid Rock.

Now, MMA has Wacko Jacko.

True to form, the Skeletor-looking pop star showed up in a wheelchair and a burka-like ensemble that left only his eyes exposed... those, of course, he covered with a pair of super dark sunglasses.

Truly bizarre. Truly confusing. I mean, MMA of all things? Is it possible that Michael Jackson is starting to take interest in normal activities?

Maybe Jackson has been forced to start growing up since leaving the Neverland Ranch. It has been a couple years since a childish M.J. left the mansion behind, so if we play by Peter Pan rules, he might finally be reaching the maturity level of a teenager. Now, if the teenager he becomes is still a boy, it might easily become interested in the violence and showmanship that MMA provides.

Aww... Little Mikey has outgrown his pet monkey and ferris wheel. Who’s our big skull-faced man?

Story 2: MMA fighter poops his pants in the ring
Fred Mitchell literally “beat the crap” out of Corey Wethey during a small-time fight in Louisiana on Monday. According to thetowntalk.com, Mitchell struck his opponent so hard with a knee to the body that Wethey immediately lost control of his bowels.

Mitchell said that he began to smell something foul after delivering the blow, and that the smell continued to worsen as the match went on. At one point, Mitchell removed his mouth piece to alert the ring official. “He s--- himself,” Mitchell said repeatedly to the stunned referee.

You can’t write this stuff... and still, the worst is yet to come.

While Mitchell was pleading with the official, Wethey regained the advantage, and locked Mitchell's head between his thighs.
Wow. I knew these MMA guys were tough... but that seems a little extreme. How about a couple new rules? If you crap your trunks, you have to tap out. If you’re wrestling with a guy who does his business, you are allowed to run away, screaming like a little girl, and jump over the fence.

The incident required a 10-minute intermission while officials scrubbed down the ring. Mitchell went on to win the fight by Wethey's disqualification.

From the Blogosphere...

The Bong Show has set himself up as the Community's new disciplinarian and giver of knowledge. Anytime you encounter a troublesome member, just send them Bong's way. His blog is full of handy links and pictures that are sure to reform even the most hardened troll.

Has Kobe reformed his image? Jesse James says that the MVP has done a lot to help the cause this season. Read about his revelation.

Resident ranker dantheman4250 gives us his "very early" NFL power rankings. Could the Dolphins be at No. 6? No.
Posted on: May 5, 2008 6:05 pm
Edited on: May 5, 2008 6:13 pm

Blog Cabin: The sweet science of suckering fans

In the news...

In case anyone missed it, Oscar De La Hoya won a fight this past weekend, taking a 12-round unanimous decision over Steve Forbes.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “What’s a 60-year-old magazine executive and former presidential candidate doing in the ring?” Turns out, it’s not that Steve Forbes... but it might as well have been.

All kidding aside, De La Hoya is washed up, and Forbes isn't exactly a top contender (except on “The Contender”).

The first round was entertaining, but after that the match settled in to the mundane display I expected. It wasn't exciting. There were no fireworks. De La Hoya won all 12 rounds on one judge's scorecard, and 11 out of 12 on the other two.

This is why people have stopped watching boxing matches. Why would anyone want to watch two men dance around a ring for 12-rounds, with no clear-cut winner.

Oh, that’s right... This was a “tune-up” fight for Oscar.

It seems as though this match was tailor-made to set the stage for De La Hoya vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. Part II. Yes, people will watch that fight, but will that bout be any better?

Not likely.

Unless there’s some sort of shenanigans (you gotta love boxing), “Money” is going put an end to “The Golden Boy”. I know that many people thought he should have won the decision last time, but for the next fight, the outcome really shouldn’t be much of a question.

De La Hoya has a mediocre 7-5 record over the last eight years, while Floyd is, of course, undefeated. We will watch, though, and we’ll curse ourselves as we make that pay-per-view purchase.

People love Oscar, and people want to see someone put an end to the arrogance of Mayweather. With all the drama between the two fighters and the controversy after their first match, millions will tune in to watch, again.

And then we’ll see exactly what we expect to see, again. And then we’ll be upset that we paid for it, again. And then we’ll have to sit around drinking beer, feeling sorry for ourselves because we got fooled in to buying a fight that we knew wouldn’t live up to the hype... again.

Resistance is already a lost cause, though. Boxing is the sweet science of suckering people, and we’re dealing with two of the best.

From the Blogosphere...

Teixierafan_23 thinks that baseball has gotten better of late. If that weren't strange enough, he also thinks that Bud Selig has done a great job. I know... I can't believe it either.

Did you ever wonder why some members have such an eclectic mix of teams as their favorites? How can one person be a fan of the Chargers, Red Sox, Rangers and Hawks? One of these fans, JEagle87, attempts to explain the method to his madness.

Dormanium targets the hot-button issue of the day, the tragic death of Eight Belles at the Kentucky Derby. His take: PETA needs to cut it out.

As always, edwardsfan99 brings us this weeks NASCAR power rankings.
The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com